Lessons on Empathy from a Rescue Dog
Hand Feeding Gives Dog with Insecurities a Sense of Safety
Hazel Roo grew up homeless on the streets of Houston’s Corridor of Cruelty. When my family rescued her this year, four-year-old Roo had just delivered a litter of six pups. Today, Roo (short for kangaroo), lives day to day with the help of a double dose of Prozac and lots of love. Roo’s sad journey has left her with many quirks. Some are cute, and some are sad. The focus has been on increasing her confidence in meeting her most basic physiological needs for food, shelter, and water - and in that order.
Why Would Roo Only Eat if I Held Her Bowl?
Curious about Roo’s various behaviors, I wanted to understand why they were so different from my other rescue who was adopted as a pup. In the process I have come to discover all Roo’s behaviors are rational, as they were learned while living under a house with no regular source of food and with other abandoned, neglected, and often aggressive dogs as neighbors. The anxieties and fears Roo associates with everyday life, such as finding a safe place to lay down or eat a meal, come from past traumas. With some investigation, I came to understand that, first and foremost, Roo probably doesn’t view eating as a safe activity. Another theory is that sometimes timid dogs with low self-esteem might deploy this behavior as a way of asking for more time to socialize with their person. I also learned Roo’s been conditioned to worry about the safety of her surroundings and the probability that more dominant dogs might be lurking in the dark ready to take her food. Maybe she believes that my hand feeding her is a way for her to protect herself. Maybe it’s a flashback to her genetics where weaker wolves expected the pack leader to offer them any remaining food. I’m not sure the root of Roo’s want for hand feeding. However, I know that thinking through the possibilities and mysteries of Roo’s past has made me much more empathic to her backstory and, in turn, has increased my level of patience, protection, and care for her.
Have You Ever Held Someone’s Bowl?
The process of trying to understand Roo’s story and how it drives her current behaviors has been a lesson in empathy. Seeing the daily struggle as she gains confidence in her environment is still a series of mixed wags. Her need for hand feeding is weening as she continues to make progress and gains a greater sense of belonging and love.
The bigger lesson for me is that, in the past, people have wanted me to hold their bowls. I will admit that I was not as empathetic as I am today thanks to Roo. In the future, when someone asks me to hold their bowl or hand feed them, I will pause and seek to empathize and understand with a sense of greater purpose.
Brent A. Kedzierski is Chief Learning Officer at HumanWRKS. Brent’s focus is on improving the human condition at work … one experience at a time. Brent is also a Board member of the National Workplace Bullying Coalition and serves as the Strategic Advocate for Industry Outreach and Education.